Mistletoe
by TodaysPassenger
Summary: A short story about the holidays.


"MERRY CHRISTMAS!"

Glasses clink.

Bottoms up.

A chorus of "aaaah"s.

You are Anon.

And it's party time.

The holidays were always particularly cozy for the general, and this year was no exception.

You'd pulled out all the stops this year.

Eggnog, decorations, tree, baked treats, crackling fire, the whole shebang.

The rosy-cheeked, bubbly girl next to you can't suppress a laugh as the foam topping her drink tickles her nose.

She's quite fetching tonight, with her usually free auburn hair tied back in a short, sporty ponytail.

Her slate-grey turtleneck sweater strained against a head-turning chest, already sporting a few crumbs of her favorite cookies.

Your eyes wander down to the tantalizing strip of cream fur between the hem of her black miniskirt and pure white stockings, your only distraction from the alluring territory being her infectious laughter and fluffy tail.

This was the constantly vivacious, never-met-a-stranger girl you knew as Bump the Deer.

She oohed and ahhed over each sip of her beverage.

"This is so good, Anon! What's in it?"

"Nothing much: just eggs, sugar, milk, ice cream, vanilla, nutmeg, and a few hits of rum."

"Really? So that's why it's so sweet and cool at first, but spicy and warm going down!"

You nod appreciatively, glad that for once the cookboo/ck/s hadn't let you down.

"Pfft. If he'd bought the storemade junk you wouldn't know the difference."

Once Bump is distracted by her next snack, you slyly flip the bird at the girl sharing the couch with you two.

Huddled into the opposite corner, she mirrors your gesture, disguising it as daintily lifting a claw from her hot chocolate and peppermint-filled mug.

With her twilight-blue hair tied back into round buns by cute red ribbons, white collared shirt, and navy-colored, corduroy dress, she looked for all the world like the heroine of a children's bestseller series.

But you knew better.

The caustic words that came from that off-white muzzle.

A bitter black heart that hid under robin's egg blue fur.

Those cut topaz eyes that were always looking down on you.

Even though she barely cleared your waist.

This foul beast was Sage the Sloth.

You fucking hated her.

And she fucking despised you.

With a sigh and a satisfied tummy pat, Bump slumps back into the cushions.

"That was wonderful, Anon! Thank you so much!"

"No problem, Bump. How about we get to the gift-giving?"

With a jump and an elated squeal, Bump is already at the foot of the Christmas tree, far too excited to let a food coma slow her down.

"EEEEEMEFIRSTMEFIRSTIGETTOBESANTAFIRST!"

And just like that, she's resumed her place on the couch, breathing lightly.

Bump passes you an envelope with far too much festive glitter.

"Here you go, Anon!"

Aw, must be a gift card or something.

You pop the flap and try not to spread pixie herpes all over yourself.

A note written with the girliest penmanship you've ever seen is inside.

[Merry Christmas, Anon! Enjoy your gift, but make sure you don't go *too* crazy! -XOXO, Bump]

There's a certificate behind it.

[ONE (1) 4CHAN PASS - GOOD FOR ONE YEAR]

Aw shiet.

A devilish grin curls your lips as Bump hands a gift-wrapped box to Sage, which her claws make quick work of.

A Mania-logo sweater, sized XXL. Just how she likes 'em.

The bubbly deer can't hold back any longer and sweeps Sage into a hug. "I had to search and search, but I finally found one in that size! I thought it would be perfect for you! Do you like it?"

If she did, the ingrate sure didn't show it, instead casting a jealous glare at your certificate. "How come I didn't get a pass?"

"Er. Um. Well, you see-"

"Because everybody knows you'd just give it to a shitposter for laughs."

As you cut off Bump's stammered excuse, Sage shoots you a venomous look before smirking.

Yeah, you were dead on the money.

Bump claps her hands, eager to change the subject.

"SO! Anon, why don't you go next?"

"Huh? Oh, sure thing."

You make a quick trip to the Christmas tree and fish out two boxes, handing the larger one to Bump.

"Ladies first!" you cheerfully remark, earning yourself a kick from Sage.

The gift barely left your hands before Bump excitedly ripped into it like a kid at Christmas.

Fitting.

And the treasure inside?

"Oh, these are CUUUUTE!"

A set of custom-made Sonic-themed underwear.

Bump pored over them, trying to recognize the level designs.

"Um...the bra is Hill Top...and the panties...I think these are Mystic Cave!"

You hear a loud sputter behind you as Sage chokes on her eggnog.

"Ding ding, a winner is you!" You quip as Bump tackles you in an aggressive glomp.

"Awww, Anon! How did you know my favorites?!"

"I didn't, I just got what I thought would suit you."

More muttering behind you. "And you got a push-up bra because...?"

You turn your head just enough to see the grumpy sloth and shoot her an exaggerated wink.

"You disgust me."

After no small effort, you pry the appreciative deer off you long enough to pass the second box to Sage.

She shakes it cautiously. "Too light to be a bomb."

"Oh my god, JC."

"Or anything worthwhile."

:(

"Just open the damn present."

She much more methodically tears away the wrapping this time, still wary of a trap.

She catches sight of the front of the box.

And stops.

Bump leans over to get a better look. "Hm? Whatcha get?"

Sage's eyes haven't left the gift.

"Yeah, I thought you could use some-"

She's literally shaking.

"-what with you always being on the ra-*SMACK*"

Your face is immediately and intimately familiar with the Tampax box you so lovingly wrapped and decorated.

"FUCK."

"YOU."

Sage stomps over to the tree as loudly as her small frame could manage and grabs a smallish box and an envelope, cursing vehemently as she went.

For the third time Bump is first, the sloth forcing the box into her hands. "HERE. Let's get this over with already."

"OH! T-thanks Sage!"

Sage rejoins you and Bump on the couch as the deer opens her present, popping the top off the lid excitedly.

"Um..."

She pulls out the mystery gift for a closer look.

You clap a hand to your mouth.

Holding it aloft by one of its leather straps, she inspects the item with a mix of curiosity and bewilderment.

A bright red, hard plastic ball, with a series small holes perforating either side.

Goddammit Sage.

Before you can say a word, Bump's face lights up with sudden realization.

"Aaaah! I get it now!"

In a flash, she's tied the straps behind her head.

"Anon! AnonAnonAnon, WHO AM I?!"

Your heart immediately transmutes to sugar and melts.

She tied it over her nose.

"Rudolph."

"EEEE! Thank you Sage!" Overjoyed, Bump envelops her friend in another marshmallowy hug.

HHHNNNNNG

Once the cuddly deer settles down, she turns back to Sage expectantly.

"Soooo? Whatcha get for Anon?"

Still rumpled from Bump's vigorous affections, Sage flicks the card at you. "Here. Just for you."

Bump's immediately on your arm, dying to see too. "Ooooh, something special?"

You peel back the fold with a sense of trepidation.

Another note.

[Look up]

You and Bump both turn to Sage in unison.

Huh, that's funny.

It's the dead of winter.

And yet two birds have migrated to your living room.

On full display, even.

A practically extinct smile hovering above them.

"Merry Christmas, asshole. Hope you treasure it forever."

Oh, is that how we're playing it?

"Damn Sage, if I'd known you were that hard up, I'd have gotten you two boxes instead. Johns not paying like they used to?"

The fleeting smile, the last of its kind, is messily devoured by a snarl.

"Say that again, limpdick?"

"You heard me, you cheap bitch. I said your handies ain't worth shit."

"WHY YOU-"

"GUYS!"

A quick shout silences you both.

Poor Bump, in the eye of a brewing shitstorm, tries to play peacekeeper.

"Anon, that was very nasty of you to say. Sage, it was very rude to not get Anon a present when he got you...something."

Sage hops off the couch fuming, still sneering acridly at you. "Enjoy your shitty circlejerk then, I'm going to the bathroom."

"Try not to suck any dicks on the way there!" you call back cheerfully, garnering another one-finger salute as she slips out the door to the hall.

She probably would've doubled up again if not for the tampon box she took with her.

Whatever, fuck her.

Bump on the other hand looks up at you, pouting.

"I wish you two would get along, at least for one day. Tonight's supposed to be about comfort and joy, you know?"

"Hey, I didn't start it! I at least got her a present."

"I know...I don't know why she's like this..." she muses glumly.

Dammit, leave it to the blue bitch to ruin everybody's good time.

Gotta do something to get that smile back.

"Aw, don't worry about her. Betcha she just needs to get laid."

"Anon!"

That gets you a look, though you swear you saw the corners of her mouth twitch.

"Ten bucks says she went to go 'comfort' her 'joy'."

She tries, but ain't nothing holding back the tide of giggles that comes bubbling up from the deer.

"Pfffftahahaha! Rude, Anon!"

"That's more like it." You grin, offering to refill her now-empty cup. "More 'nog?"

She nods back immediately, handing you the vessel. "Yes please! With extra foam!"

Could anyone resist that smile?

You doubt it.

You lose track of time as the night goes on.

Eatan, drinkan, storytime-an.

Lost a lot more track of that second bit.

You're pretty buzzed yourself, but you've got nothing on her.

You know one thing for sure now: this gal's a happy drunk.

Running at 1.2 gigglewatts, Marty.

She's already laughing at one of her own jokes again, chest bouncing with every chuckle.

Make that 1.2 jigglewatts.

God damn. That's hypnotic.

"-'n so she starts yelling, 'SHUT TH' FUCK UP YOU TITTY MONSTER' and gets outta the pool."

"Oh, yeah?"

"Sheesh always doin' that though, callin' me Saggy, or a bimbo, or teashin' me about back problems."

"Uh huh, that sucks."

"...Up here, Anon."

"Huh, what?!"

You're torn away from the dance of the marshmallows by Bump tutting at you.

Shit, caught red-handed.

Can't tell if it's your staring or the alcohol that's gotten her that red-faced.

"Anoonnnn...now you're bein' all weird too!" she groans before shooting you a worried look. "Sage's right, they *do* brainwash guys!"

For fuck's sake.

What the hell has Sage been telling her?

"What? No. They're just fantastic to look at."

"So...they're not too big then?" she asks, back to beaming.

"Hell no. They're perfectly-sized sweater puppies." A mischievous grin cracks your face. "Though I could always take a look to make sure."

She double-takes.

Shit, now you've done it. You went and made everything awkward.

You brace for a slap.

"Okay!"

what

"what"

Before you knew it, the giddy deer had grabbed the bottom of her turtleneck and pulled up, allowing two beautiful cream-colored mountains of furry flesh to spill forth, restrained only by a silky black bra.

Dumbstruck.

Dumbfounded.

If you were staring before, your eyes were dinner plates now.

A sleeping beast stirs below.

Calm down, my dear son!

She gives them a small jiggle.

"Wellll? What do you think?"

"I think I need a closer inspection."

"Eep!"

Bump yelps as you greedily take a good handful of each hefty breast. They're soft, oh so soft, with all the give and smoosh and squeeze you could hope for.

Softness only accentuated by the downy fuzz meeting your fingertips over the top of each cup.

In other words, bags of sand are bullshit.

Sizewise, she would probably be considered a solid C by human standards, but on her smaller frame she was easily rocking DDs.

An out-of-breath voice interrupts your investigation.

"Ch-check'em..."

"Pardon?"

Bump is breathing lightly and more flushed than ever, her bright blue eyes sparking with desire over the top of her sweater bottom.

"Check them...directly..."

You can practically hear her pupils becoming hearts as she holds the hem in her mouth and reaches behind her.

Snap.

Snap-snap.

The bra pushes into your hands from newfound release and comes away freely as you pull it down.

Creamy hills topped with bright pink cherries.

Clearly heavy, but certainly not saggy. Cute nipples poking out at you, just begging to be tweaked.

Your booze-addled mouth lets the words tumble out before your brain can stop them.

"They look tasty..."

The vanilla mounds are rippled by a bashful giggle. "Help yourself, Anon."

If she insists!

You resume kneading her ample chest, craning your neck down to take her up on her offer.

The angle is kind of awkward with her being so much smaller than you, but getting her to lean back fixes that.

You take a teasing lick across the tip of her nipple.

A jump.

A gasp.

A second lick, longer, tracing along her areola.

"Anooonnn~N!"

She melts into putty in your hands, lewd moans slipping past her lips as you concentrate on your work.

"O-oh god...Anon...whe*nhm!* where did you *ah* learn...?"

"Ah." Pretty hard to talk through a mouthful of juicy tits. "Aaound."

Thank god for doujins and lewdfics.

You squeeze her breasts together and slide your tongue across her meeting nips, sending her back arching.

"Nnnfaaa! Not both! I-I can't-...I can't!"

Sure she says that.

But her body tells a different story.

Arms wrapped tight around your head, pulling you deep into a fuzzy marshmallowy hell.

And if you didn't already have enough mixed messages.

Now your brain's yelling at you too.

Something about "BREATHE IDIOT BREATHE!"

Your dick shouts back to ignore him.

You defer to the former and wriggle down, out of her arms.

And you don't stop.

Kissing her tummy, running your hands along her slight chub.

Bump's just enjoying the attention, "Ooh!"ing and "Mmmn"ing as you tickle and caress her.

You give her lovely stocking-clad thighs a firm squeeze as you reach your destination.

Ready yourself.

And dive in.

"ANONWAITNONONO!"

Squish.

Squish?

"AaaHhnhn~!"

Whoops.

Where you'd figured would be a matching set of black lacy panties

Was instead a very delicate, dripping wet, and BLAZING HOT set of lower lips.

And from what you could gather

You'd just planted a very passionate kiss on her hood.

The girl herself had become a miniature sun behind her hands from sheer embarrassment.

"Don'tlookdon'tlookIswearI'mnotaslut-"

"Bump."

"IjustlikethefeelingandIforgotthistimeand-"

"Bump!"

Did she just say she goes commando?

Hot.

"Pleasepleasepleasedon'tellSageshe'lljustteasememoreand-"

Ok, that's enough.

You spread her lips with both hands and give her slit a deep pass from top to bottom with your tongue.

"HGNNN-*!"

The breath rips from Bump's chest as a jolt of electricity shoots through her.

Mission accomplished.

You start licking again, slower, then faster, eliciting a satifying "Ahn!" each time.

Salty, yet not parching. Musky, yet not overpowering. Not sweet or anything, but not unpleasant either.

You could get used to this.

Bump bites down on her sweater again as you explore deeper, your lips resting on hers as your tongue digs deeper into her.

You find a spot with slightly rougher texture.

"Haa~ahn!"

Jackpot.

Her legs tickle your cheeks as she squeezes you between her thighs, her hands wrestling between yanking your head away and pushing you in further.

"Anon...ah-ahnon! Oh...oshtop...I can't...I can't think straight..."

Faster.

"No...d-d'ohnt...Hn! Ah! K-eep! Right! THere!"

She's close!

"Oh god...ohgod...gOD...FAS-A-AAAHN~! NN~! OHGAHAAHAAAHD!"

Bump's whole body curls around your head as she tenses and shudders, giggling all the while as the orgasm echos through her.

"I-eeeheehee!-can't believe-heehahaha-how good that felt!"

"That good, huh? How did it feel?"

"Fluttery, and-heehee- warm, and kind of fuzzy..."

You sit back up, allowing the still-tittering deer to snuggle into your lap, looking up at you through slightly dewy sapphires.

"Thank you."

"For what?" you chuckle. "Not like I wasn't enjoying it."

"For not thinking I'm a sl-... that I'm not lewd...for the panty thing...or that my boobs are too big..."

"Oh, you're incredibly lewd. I never said you weren't."

"ANO-!"

"But you're also incredibly cute, and that's the most attractive combo you can have."

You can see the gears turning in her head as she thinks it over, then blush as she accepts the compliment.

Awww.

My lewd little mascot can't be this pure.

You thought as you realize she never put her bra back on.

As you notice her nipples poking through her sweater.

As something else pokes up again as well.

Shit.

Shitshitshit.

Maybe she won't notice.

"Huh?"

Shit.

She sits back up. "Did you sit on a present? Something's poking me."

She noticed.

Little Anon's wide awake and harder than Dragonforce.

She stares.

"Uh..."

You run through the usual excuses in your head.

I can't help it! OR It's natural for boys my age! OR Take responsibility!

Fucking doujins didn't prepare you for this.

Time's up.

She noticed that you noticed her noticing.

"Bump, I-"

"Want me to help you with it?"

Maybe rethink that pure bit.

*FLUSH*

Running water echoes off the walls and tile.

[New character unlocked.]

[You may now play as Sage the Sloth!]

You finish washing your claws, having completed what you'd come here to do.

A little bit of shitposting on the shitter had given you enough time to calm down.

"Fucking Anon."

Yeah, it'd slipped your mind to get him a present until the last minute.

Sure, you'd overslept and only woke up after all the stores were closed.

Okay, just owning up to it might have been fine.

BUT STILL.

You figured he'd just laugh it off like bad bait.

Totally uncalled for for him to overreact like that.

ESPECIALLY after giving you that shitty present.

"Nah, fuck him. He deserved it!"

And then there's Bump.

Fuck her too for sticking up for him, double for forcing you into this stupid outfit.

Make that a triple for ruining your joke gift.

You'd thought the ballgag was a brilliant idea to get her flustered.

And then she plays dumb.

Plays the cutesy bimbo card. As if she didn't know what it was for.

Pffft, who was she fooling? You'd seen how she acts.

Always wearing showy clothes, always so damn clingy.

Cozying up to Anon all the time, wallowing her obnoxious tits all over him.

And of course, he eats it up like the horny ape he is.

You bet they're fucking like rabbits whenever they can.

...

Probably couldn't wait for you to be out of the room fast enough.

Doubt they even wanted you to come in the first place.

...

...Fuck.

You run a sleeve across your eyes.

H-huh...guess the faucet splashed more than you thought...

As you try to dry off your shirt, you remember the box you left on the sink corner.

Might as well put them away.

...Hold on. This box looks like it's been opened before.

DID THAT PUKE BASTARD GET A *USED* BOX OF TAMPONS?!

The box pops open against the wall from another rage-fueled throw.

You catch a glimpse of the contents.

Fabric?

You scoop up the box, confusion creasing your brow.

...Oh for fuck's sake. Of course he wouldn't pass up a prank.

Tipping the box on its side, a folded sheet of cloth tumbles into your claw.

A bedsheet? No, too small for that. And something's printed on it.

You unfold it hurriedly.

...A dakimakura.

A *Sonic* daki.

Double-sided.

Just your size.

A note slips from the open end.

[To Sage: though you may be a frigid bitch, even you deserve something to keep you warm at night. Merry Christmas, - Anon]

...

*sniff*

D-dammit, did you leave the tap running?

Now your dress is all w-wet.

You fold the pillowcase back up and put it back in the box.

After wiping your face off, you finally leave the bathroom, pondering how to make up for earlier.

He's already got enough merch, not like he needs more.

Games? Already owned and played to death.

Dress up as his waifu? GOD no, you can't even finish that thought with a straight face.

...

Maybe you can just blow him and call it even.

...Great, now you're starting to think like Bump.

You walk back down the hall, still grousing over what to do now.

"...sure...want...this?"

Well, the party's still going at least.

They'd better have left you some eggnog.

If Bump ate all the cookies again, you swear-

"...course! ...made...good...I...should...too!"

Sounds like they're in a good mood.

The door to the den's muffling the words, but it gets clearer as you get closer.

"So where should we...?"

"Right here's fine! I'll get down on the floor, just get comfortable."

"What the hell is that slut saying?"

You immediately begin to tiptoe, taking care to not let your claws catch on the carpet.

The door is still cracked open just slightly from when you stormed out earlier.

Crouching, you lean in for a peek.

Bump's bare, spotted back greets your eyes, her sweater discarded on the couch.

A heavy, musky smell greets your nose that's much stronger than alcohol.

And a short zzzzzip greets your ears as Bump kneels down and undoes Anon's...

Oh god dammit.

You leave these two alone for two minutes and they're already in each other's pants.

Your face scrunches in disgust as his erect cock pops free, Bump still working his jeans down past his knees.

She gives it a curious caress, inquisitively stroking and prodding it as it twitches.

Fuck's sake, it's a dick, get over it!

Don't act like it's the first one you've ever seen!

This was honestly embarrassing to watch.

But...

You stare as Bump looks attentively at the tip, and with Anon's guidance, lovingly takes it into her mouth.

You can't look away.

Your field of view isn't the greatest, but you've got the perfect angle to see what she's doing.

You see her tongue slip out and around with it still firmly between her lips, swirling around his head.

It doesn't look like she hates it.

He's certainly not, with all the grunting and hooting he's doing.

Like you said, just like an ape.

She holds her hair back with one hand as she rests the other on his knee.

Eyes closed, humming cheerfully, licking his shaft like it was the world's tastiest candy.

Her breasts swaying freely in the air, no shirt or bra to hold them back now.

Bounce, bounce, bounce, back and forth with every slurp.

You swallow hard.

Was it always this hot in the hallway?

She's sucking it again.

Anon has his hand on her head, gently urging her to take him farther and farther in.

F-fuck...

You're transfixed by the sight of her bobbing down, softly moaning around the thick rod in her mouth.

On her knees, her head between Anon's, clad only in her short skirt and stockings...

Him gasping, pleading, begging for more.

You bite your lip to stifle your own heavy breath.

It looks like she's having some trouble.

Age-old dilemma when he's too big and she's too small.

You'd been wondering how her jaw wasn't killing her yet.

An idea surfaces.

She brings a hand to her mouth, licking it liberally.

Holy shit.

Was this the power of a slut?

Satisfied that it was plenty slick, she gave it one last spit and then wrapped it around Anon's throbbing member.

"Better?"

"Oh god yes!"

Bump grins, pleased with her results.

You've seen threads burn over that smile.

She sets back to work, this time with a twist.

Angling her head slightly, she forces herself to swallow as much of him as possible.

Even from here you could see her cheek bulge as she slid a good three-quarters in this time.

Glittering azure eyes, wide and smouldering, intently watching for his reaction.

And then slowly slid it back out, at the same time working the base of his shaft with her slippery hand.

"God daaaaaaaaaamn..."

Bump moves her hand in tandem with her mouth, slightly faster than before. In, out, in, out, the wetness of her mouth giving plenty of lubrication for her hand to work back down to his base.

You felt a twinge, an itch, a longing between your legs.

Slowly, unconsciously, your claws began to slip under your skirt.

You noticed that Bump's free hand has already vanished under hers.

Your smooth claw finds the folds of your panties.

And pushed them aside.

This is so wrong...

But so...

Damn...

HOT.

Anon's voice has gotten more ragged than ever as Bump's pace quickens.

She's louder too, her cheeks flushed from exertion or passion or both.

Shouting, he's shouting now.

Reeling back.

Your attention flicks back to Bump.

Her eyes have flown open in shock as Anon's dick jumps and throbs against her cheek.

She quickly puts up her hands, cupping them under her mouth as sticky white gobs begin to seep around her lips.

Swallows.

Gasps.

Swallows again.

No fucking way.

She actually s-

"-Swallowed it? You didn't have to!"

She coughs a bit to clear her throat. "No, it's okay! You just...surprised me is all. Besides, this way I didn't get any on my skirt or the rug!"

Bump looks at the few drops left on her hands.

"And really..."

She licks her hand meaningfully, as a hazy, lust-filled look clouds her eyes.

"I think I like it...It's so salty, and the smell just drives me crazy..."

Anon's jaw goes slack; his dick does the opposite.

"Um, so... Should we start getting cleaned up?"

Your heart pounds in your chest.

Your fingers flutter between your legs.

Nononono, that can't be it, can it?

You curse and swear for taking so damn long in the bathroom.

Dammit dammit dammit, you've already missed half the show!

"Wait..." Bump coos, playing with his semi-limp penis.

She lifts the edge of her skirt, showing Anon the wet spot that had dripped down from where she was kneeling.

"I think I've got my appetite back, if you think you'd want seconds..."

Oh.

OH.

YES.

SAY YES.

DO HER FAGGOT!

"As if you have to ask!"

FUCK YES.

You couldn't resist a silent fist pump.

The deer leans back in and swallows his limp member wholly now, licking and cleaning it with her mouth.

Slurping and sucking greedily as she laps up a newfound addictive taste.

Your own heat stirs again, urging your claws to move more vigorously.

In short order she's gotten him rock-hard again, letting his cock spring free with a POP.

"Wow, already ready to go again, Anon?"

"...I read some guides on /h/."

She stands, unzipping her skirt and letting it fall down her white-freckled butt to the floor.

N-no panties...

Sshk shhk shhk shhk

Bump climbs back into Anon's lap, wrapping her arms around his chest as she positions her hips over his raised spear.

Nestling the tip into her folds.

"Well, let me show *you* what I learned from some stories on /k/..."

"Wh-"

Anon's question goes unfinished as Bump drops her hips as far as she could stand.

Both let out a sharp hiss; Anon in ecstasy, Bump in pain.

"Oh...ohgod, are you alright?"

"Y-yeah...just...a...moment..."

...How did you BOTH not know better than to jam it in?

This would have gone back to painful to watch if Bump hadn't gotten her second wind, slowly sliding more and more of Anon into her.

And back up.

Down.

And then up.

Each time, a little easier, a little faster, and a lot more pleasurable than the last.

Within a minute they find a satisfying rhythm, Bump squeaking moans and oaths into Anon's chest as she bounces in her lap.

Her ass firmly gripped by Anon's hands as he helped guide her into every thrust.

Truly a spectacle to behold.

Or it would be

IF THE FUCKING HEATER HADN'T BLOWN THE FUCKING DOOR CLOSED

GOD DAMMIT YOU WERE SO CLOSE

PANTIES SOAKED THROUGH, CLAWS DRIPPING WET, FUCKING WATERFALLS

Okay, calm down.

You didn't hear the latch actually click.

You can try to nudge the the door back open.

Maybe even give you a smidgen more room to see.

Careful.

Knuckles only, don't need to risk them hear a tap or scrape.

Easy.

Easy...

Easyyyy...

*CREAAAK*

"WHAT WAS THAT?!"

You are now Anon again

And you and Bump both freeze.

Hearts beating hard enough for you to feel each others'.

Bump's too spooked to turn around, but you're locked on to the source of the sound.

Somehow, the hall door just swung open about an inch and scared you both out of your wits.

Did Sage finally come back from the bathroom?

Or...

You gulp as your mouth runs dry.

If that rustbucket came in and saw you both like this...

You shudder involuntarily.

"Psst, Anon."

Bump's looking up at you, wearing a reassuring expression.

"Don't worry about him, he won't be back from vacation until tomorrow morning."

A sigh of relief as THAT worry leaves you. "Thank god. He'd probably have a meltdown on the spot."

Bump still isn't completely at ease yet. "But...it might still be Sage. She's been gone for a long time now."

You scoff. You couldn't care less where the high queen of hysterics had gotten off to.

"Forget about her, she's probably still in the bathroom. Bet her ass fell asleep playing shitty mobage."

"Pffft, Anon. So rude."

You give her ass a teasing pinch. "And you Bump, so lewd. Where were we?"

She plants kisses up and down your chest, being far too short to reach your lips.

While also grinding against your crotch, your shaft still deep inside her.

Furnace-hot.

Vice-tight.

Impossibly accommodating.

Can human women compete?

...How the fuck would you know?

"Anooo~n...I'm still here~."

While you're lost in internal argument, Bump's brought your hands back to her chest for more attention.

Despite their size, they're still incredibly sensitive.

You've worked out her pattern: rough groping from bottom to top gets her riled and moaning, while gentle teasing of the nipples sets her giggling and gasping.

You try both at once.

"Hfaahahaanooon~! What'reehe you do*ahn!*ing?"

Wonder what she'd do if you teased them while fucking her?

Small problem.

Her height doesn't give you much room to work with when she gets into it, so her boobs end up smooshed against you.

Idea!

"Hold up a sec. Try turning around."

Eager to get back to the action, she's quick to comply, now straddling you but facing away. "Like this?"

Oh lord, what a bounty.

Bump's bust was bomb.

But dear diary:

Today, the ass was fat.

Cute white freckles trailed down her back and onto her butt.

Cheeks so squeezable you could lose a hand, accentuated with thick thighs that her stockings pinched JUST. RIGHT.

Your fingers dig in roughly, kneading like a baker with a deadline.

"Nnnnnf, Anon...you're so rough..." Her breath deepens, the disappearing tension in her legs becoming a different agitation near her middle. "Is my butt really that fun to -ah- play with?"

"Beats the hell out of vidya."

She laughs breathlessly. "You sure?"

Maybe.

But you don't say that out loud.

Instead, you start guiding Bump's hips down.

Battering ram resting at the gates of heaven.

Your partner-in-arms braces herself.

She looks up at you, eyes brimming with keening desire.

"A-anon..."

"Don't hold back."

Worlds collide.

In one motion, you plunge her down all the way to the hilt.

Wet velvet. Intense pressure. Warmth.

So much warmth.

She pulls your arms around her, breath still hitched from the shock of taking your length again.

You're in no hurry.

You're awash in the pleasure of being inside her.

"Anon..."

Her plaintive mewl snaps you out of it.

"W-what? Are you okay?"

"I-I don't think I can move like this yet."

Now that she mentions it, her legs are trembling quite a bit.

"Help me?"

Gently, you take firm hold of her hips, and slowly lift her up.

The trembling intensifies as her folds caress your emerging shaft.

You pause for a moment once she's high enough.

"K-keep going."

Cut off before you could even ask.

You let her hips fall again, a hot rush of a moan escaping her as you do.

Her legs seem to have settled down.

She attempts to lift herself this time.

"Hnnng!"

The sudden tightness from her legwork caught you off guard.

A quick reassurance that she wasn't hurting you, and she's free to continue.

Looks like she's comfortable now, her short, fluffy tail twitching and tickling you on every downstroke.

You start matching her pace, thrusting upward slightly, making her juicy ass bounce against your crotch each time.

"Ah! Ah! Ahn! AHn! An! Non! Keep! Going~!"

You give it an appreciative slap.

"NNMMM! Meanie!"

She says as she tightens around you.

If she's not against that kind of rough play...

Time to put your idea into practice.

"Ahn! Ah! W-what-HNNN!"

You reach around and give each tit a hard squeeze.

Your dick nearly suffocates from constriction.

"Aaah! Aaaaa~aah! An-ano-n-no-no more..."

But let's keep going and see what happens!

Both nipples pinched firm.

Breasts dominated by your groping hands.

Her tongue loose and dripping as her slick snatch clung to you for dear life.

You felt the fire rising.

Alcohol and a warning shot could only aid you so much.

"I c-AHn...c-*HA! C-can't! Can't~! Com-CO..Cu~uuummmmMIIHIHIHING!"

The deer breaks down in a shower of giggles as your fuse kicks off.

Your climax erupts, each throb of your load aided by her laughter-induced contractions.

Emptying you to the last drop.

You finally fall back, utterly exhausted yet basking in afterglow.

Bump rests against you, still tittering softly.

"That-that was..."

"Yeah..."

You slump over, cuddling her against you as you shift to a lying position against the armrest."

"You're...really..."

"Y-you too..."

She nuzzles against your chest, a dreamy, drowsy expression clouding her eyes.

"Did you have fun?"

"Wouldn't have sacrificed wizardhood if I didn't."

"Pffft! I'm...glad..."

The booze finally takes its toll, sleep threatening to sweep her away at any moment.

"Merry Christmas, Bump."

"Merr...Crimmzzzzzzzz..."

Shhlp Shhlp Shhlp Shhlp

Shhlp Shhlp Shhlp Shhlp

It's morning. Early morning.

Shhlp Shhlp Shlp

Even through closed eyes, you can tell the sun's coming up.

Shhlp Shhlp...*gulp*...Shhlp

That sound though...

Shhlp...shhlp...*pop*

And that warm, wet sensation around your cock...

"Haa...haa..."

You crack an eye open.

Apparently, you'd pulled a blanket over the two you of you during the night.

Shhlp Shhrrrrlp slrp

But judging by the lewd sounds under the covers

and the bobbing figure between your legs

Christmas wasn't over for you yet.

Morning head, wakeup call of champions.

You involuntarily tensed as her tongue ran all the way down your shaft.

Then up to your glans.

A swirl around the head.

Both lips sucking your length.

Damn, she was experimenting today.

You're already nearing the edge.

Wonder how long she's been at this?

She's back at the tip, mouth offering glorious resistance as she attempts to swallow your member again.

A naughty thought occurs.

She didn't seem to mind a bit of forcefulness last night.

Maybe all she needed was a little push?

She doesn't seem to notice you're awake yet.

Steady...steady...

Ubercharge at 100%.

She gets you as deep as she can, a little over halfway.

NOW DOKTOR!

Both hands shoot out from under the sheet, latching onto the head under the covers.

Probably from shock, she offers no resistance as you hold her in place while you thrust upwards.

"GHK!"

Her throat immediately closes around you as she tries to swallow, sending you into another realm of pleasure.

Spurt after sticky spurt empties into her mouth as you sail past the finish line.

The sensation: divine.

The last few drops squirt across her tongue as you let her come up for air.

"*COUGHCHOAUGKKKAAAHACK!*"

That...

That's a very uncute cough...

Deep...and raspy...

Oh

Oh no

You whip the blanket off your lap.

Instead of the cute deer waifu you fell asleep with

you're greeted with a gagging

teary-eyed

and 100% LIVID blue sloth.

Nope.

You weren't drunk enough last night to be that stupid.

And you're certainly not smashed enough to deal with this now.

Time to ready your masterful escape maneuver: FALLING OFF THE COUCH.

Sage counters by leaping onto your chest, knocking your head against the armrest and the wind from your lungs.

Pure venom spits from her eyes as she wipes her mouth with the sleeve of her three-sizes-too-big nightshirt.

Your nerve fails you.

But your mouth doesn't.

"Morning, Sleeping Bitchy. Enjoy breakfast?"

Sharp claws dig into your ribs as she roars at you.

"I don't know what kind of shameless WHORE spawned you, but I'd think even she would beat into you to give a lady WARNING!"

Spittle flecks on your face from the ferocity of her tirade.

Fucking gross, that's like 1/5 of the way to snowballing.

"Fair point. If I'm ever about to nut in a lady's mouth, I'll keep that in mind."

Probably not the best choice of words when straddled by Edward Scissorhands' PMSing furfag sister.

Pretty sure those claws are gonna perforate your chest cavity at this rate.

Miraculously, Sage doesn't ventilate your ribcage.

Instead, she leans over you.

Nose to black, button nose.

Her words, a low husky growl.

"Get hard. Now."

"...Excuse me?"

Another snarl. "I said get your quick-shot virgin micropenis erect again!"

Virgin

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

"Preferably before Swatty gets back."

Okay that's no joke.

You try and play off your sudden case of paranoia with smugness.

"Well, uh...I can't get hard again quite so soon on my own. Maybe if I had someone to give me a 'hand'?"

Her face goes flat, unreadable.

"Okay."

Well, that went better than expec-

CRINGE

STOP

DESIST

TIMEOUT

Your whole body goes on red alert.

The feeling of sharp, smooth claws on your delicates will do that.

"WAITWAITWAIT, bad idea."

She stops mid-pump, annoyed.

"Well, what then?! I'm not blowing you again."

Yeah, you figured as much.

"I guess...try grinding on me?"

Stares.

"Hey, you got a better idea, I'm all ears."

"Uuugh, fine."

This cunt never makes anything easy.

Impatiently, she turns and yanks your boxers down, letting your half-mast cock slap against your stomach.

You'd honestly expected some sort of reaction; an insult, or horror, or disgust.

But no, she scootches down to straddle your hips and rolls up her nightshirt wordlessly.

You don't know whether you should be shocked or not that she's going commando as well.

Nothing blocking your view of her blueberry slit save a patch of thicker fur.

"You gonna stare all day?"

Shit, spotted.

"Waiting on you, princess."

"Rrrrgghh...Just shut up for two seconds."

She moves to make first contact.

And stops.

"One condition: you'd better speak the fuck up before you blow, got it?"

"Yes ma'am."

Alright, go time.

Almost there...

RED LIGHT.

"I mean it. I'd castrate you, kill you, then kill myself before I had your mutant crossbreed spawn, understand?"

"I SAID YES! JESUS!"

Now that you thought about it

Can a human impregnate an Mobian?

Shit.

You should've read the comics.

Or at least asked Bump.

"Good."

She drops her complaints as her hips follow suit, her lower lips brushing your shaft in one tenuous stroke.

"Nnnnnn..."

Huh. That sensitive?

Comfortable, she eases down a bit more, putting more pressure on your member.

Anon Jr. perks up, appreciative of the sudden warmth.

"Hyeep!"

The sloth jumps slightly from your sudden twitch.

"H-heheh. Getting that turned on already, huh?"

"Not really. You've barely done anything."

Needly claws remind you of the situation.

"FINE! Try this then!"

She leans forward, giving her hips more leverage as she really goes to town.

Pussy gliding along your shaft, you can see your head disappear underneath her labia, surfacing a second later glistening wet.

Now that you notice it, she's practically drenching you down there.

Where Bump took some time to get good and slippery, Sage ran like a tap.

However...

"H-how's that? So good you can't speak?"

You had to admit, she was quite distracting like this.

"Oh...damn..."

You grab her hips, forcing Sage down harder despite her stammered protests.

"N-not, yet! I'm not read-I mean..."

She pulls her shirt over her head, discarding it behind her.

Caressing her body while biting her lip.

Giving every impression of the smouldering dom.

"Try to control yourself at least a little, Anon. Though I know it must be *hard* for you~."

"Oh my god..."

Her hips bear their full weight against you, your manhood awash in her juices.

"I suppose even a monkey can recognize my ch-

"You've got like...NEGATIVE curves."

That confident facade shatters in a millisecond.

"W-WHAT?!"

"Can I tell your hips 'Thank Mr. Skeltal'?"

Teeth bare.

You know what's coming.

But you can't take this anymore.

You're embarrassed *for* her.

Either you get her to knock ofF the acting, or your dick commits sudoku.

"Are you sure you're not a mascot for ironing boards?"

"FUCK YOU!"

There we go.

"FUCKING ASSHOLE FAIRY!"

Much better.

"TAKE THAT SHIT BACK BEFORE I SNAP OFF YOUR SHRIVELED PRICK AND FORCE FEED IT TO YOU!"

And like that, you're at full mast again.

But you need to distract her before she can make good on her threat.

Grinning in the face of the hurricane, you throw caution to the wind.

And force your tongue down Sage's throat.

...The same one you violently jizzed down not that long ago.

Eh, worth it.

Implications aside, your gambit worked.

The stream of invective has been broken, Sage far too busy panting into your mouth.

Filling your lungs with her own hot breath.

Kinky.

You take advantage of her stunned state to explore her body.

Her ass had a bit more cushion than your taunt let on.

No tone by any means, but still lean and trim. Amazing, considering her NEEThood.

A slim, smooth tummy too. Her fur reminded you of a teddy bear with stiff bristle fur.

Her chest, though...

No hyperbole to be had there.

Ironing boards would pity this girl.

Only a set of mosquito-bite nipples to dot the sparse sky-blue plains.

Brush.

A shrill moan resonates in your mouth.

Tweak.

She bites down on your lip to keep from crying out again.

Guess smaller really are more sensitive.

Finally, she comes up for air.

"Fucking...hate...you..."

"Why? For making you feel good?"

It's hard for her to look threatening with her tongue drooping like that.

To be fair, you were still twiddling her nips like joysticks.

"No you...goddamn tease..."

Wha-oh.

Oh.

Looks like you leaning forward closed just enough distance to make out with her AND bump your head against her vulva.

She must've been expecting the plunge for a while now.

"Kept you waiting, huh?"

"Oh my god, just FUCK ME already you tremendous faggot!"

Well, if we're done being courteous...

You simply grab her by the shoulders

Get a firm hold

And shove.

"Ffffssaaaaaaaaaaaahhhh..."

No gasps, no tears, no pained cries.

Just one long, satisfied sigh as you slipped into her like a knife into its sheath.

Not that she was loose, oh no.

If anything, she was a fair bit tighter than Bump, thanks to her size.

But smooth, like oil on teflon, thanks to her natural lube.

You'd be a bit miffed if not for the exotic sensation.

And then she had to ruin it.

"Well, is it in yet?"

"If by in, you mean inside that gaping vagina the size of a hallway, then yes."

If she's gonna be like that, you might as well give as well as you get.

And oh boy were you gonna give it to her.

You grab her under the armpits, withdrawing with an arch of your back before slamming it back in.

Sage bites down on a claw.

"Nnnnnf! T-that the best you c-can do with that soggy noodle you call a dick?"

"Surprised you can even feel anything with that worn out roastie!"

You start pumping away with her clinging to you, hate fueling your boner as much as the slick walls gripping you.

"Ah...Ah...At least...I've had...some, you virgin...luh-loser!"

"*nng* Fucking...your...dad...doesn't...count...haaaah..."

Sweat and saliva pools on your stomach as her eyes squeeze shut from ecstasy.

"Sh-should...(f-faster!)...be thanking me...for...for doing this...(oh god!)"

"Youdon't...clap...for...godyou'retight...shitty...movies...dumbass!"

Sage has gone from clinging to your chest like a tree to bracing against your shoulders.

Not that you mind too much, your hips needed a rest while she takes up the pace herself.

One problem.

Her claws are waaaaay stronger than expected.

You're getting dead-armed pretty quick.

The pussy game ridiculous though.

Even if it did come with a foul mouth.

"Fuck...don't slow down...don't you fucking dare slow down!"

Her hips dug against you, thighs squeezing as much pressure as she could muster at your union.

Eyes blazing, tongue dripping freely, her hair loose and wild having been released from those immaculate buns Bump had so carefully crafted.

She looked a hot mess.

In every sense of the phrase.

"L-losing steam, shitface?"

"Not on your life, whorebiscuit!"

"Harder, f-fuck me harder then, dumbass!

Goddamn, railing a girl while calling her a slut to her face.

And she loves it.

Uncle /pol/ would be proud.

Sage rests her head on your chest, staring into your eyes in a way you almost dared call lovingly.

"Y-you...you...had to screw...animals to get laid..."

"Bump's a better fuck than you'll ever be."

Sage freezes.

Uh oh.

Line: crossed.

You'd kicked the smouldering passion behind those eyes.

And set off an inferno of rage.

Finally she releases your shoulders, right claw sinking into the couch as she shifts position.

Your gaze tracking her left as it snaps behind her head.

Welp, been a good run you guess.

Lived long enough to pump Bump's plump rump AND play Mania.

Yep, no regrets.

Wait for me Sonic, I'll be on the other side soon.

You close your eyes and think of Mobius.

...

You keep waiting for a blow that never comes.

You take a peek.

Sage's still straddling you.

A sick smile splitting her face.

Holding something in her claws.

Something red.

"I've decided."

The couch. Bump dropped it in the couch.

"Meat dildos should be QUIET."

"...Oh my god did you actually sayGHHDK-"

Your teeth clack against hardened plastic.

Taut leather yanks your jaw open.

Nimble claws lock the buckle in place.

You thrash and glare uselessly, your numb arms flopping like pool noodles.

Satisfied, Sage takes her seat on a helpless throne, adjusting herself back onto your dick.

"Much better. Toys should know their place."

Well, that explains why she's a terrible fuck.

Shit taste in porn too.

She resumes her vicegrip on your arms while you struggle to work feeling back to your fingers, her gyrating hips adding a shuddering cadence to her taunts.

"H-haaa...I shoulda done this sooner...Couldn't...concentrate...*ah* before...

This sucks.

Can't bully her with your words.

Can't bully her with your dick.

Can't do much of anything, really.

"Ooh...O~h...What's the matter, spe-*nh!* speechless?"

"Hffff."

"Gla-*ah*-ad! T-to hear it..."

Except focus on the slip-and-slide going on downstairs.

Like fapping with too much lube while two-fisting.

The kind where if you had just a *bit* more friction, you'd be cumming buckets by now.

Wait.

Oh no.

You thrash even more frantically, your dumb fingers scratching against the buckle to no avail.

Not that you could feel anything with them.

Sage interprets your panic as anger.

"Nh! A-are you tha-that desperate for the last word?"

She finally releases your arms, leaning back against your legs instead as she thrusts her hips up and down, forcing your shaft against her g-spot.

"Just beha-*oogod* behave for a minute...i-if you're good, I'll still let you cum. A-after I'm done..."

Oh thank god, you still may get out of this alive and intact.

Just gotta ride this out, let her jill off on you, and you'll be in the clear.

"N-not on my face...Youhah...you'd get it in my hair..."

Concentrate...

"How...O-oh...how about a thighjob?"

You violently shake your head, trying to get her to shut up.

"Pi-picky! Fine! I'll let you c-cum on my tits!"

Does she fantasize about this or something?

"Ah...god, is it s-supposed to be this hard? It's really...really rough on me..."

Why, WHY is she vocal *now* of all times?

"And...it's hot...I d-didn't think it cou- HEY, WHY ARE YOUR EYES CLOSED?!"

Dammit.

Not like it was helping anyways.

It's true what they say, when you can't see, you focus more on everything else.

The lewd sounds of her pussy effortlessly swallowing up your girth.

Her moan-stuttered observations of your intercourse.

The sweat and juices coating your lower half.

You open your eyes again.

Even if you'd teased her earlier.

The gasping, sex-haired girl riding you now had you harder than diamonds.

And your fuse was already lit

Your mind whirls and body flails in desperate self-preservation.

Plan A: Try to buck her off.

"Y-ess! YES! OH GOD, keep going!"

One minute to liftoff.

Plan B: Shove her off the couch.

"Huh? D-don't try to hug me, per-pervert!"

Thirty seconds to liftoff.

Plan C: Try to rip off the ballgag.

"I-I mean...you can h-hug me a bit I g-guess..."

Ten seconds to liftoff.

Final solution: Panic.

"HUUUHGH! UU HUUUIG! UU HUUUIG"

Sage goes stock-still.

Oh thank god, she finally got it.

Except she doesn't get off.

Her eyes roll back.

Her walls clench and spasm.

Instead she's getting off.

"HnnnnnNNNN~!"

Your lap warms from a fresh wave of fluid as Sage goes careening over the edge of her own climax.

"Aaaaaahhhh~!"

Her whole body quakes.

Squeezes.

Smiling rapturously.

One second.

Two.

Ten.

Multiple orgasms aren't fair.

At last, she can move again.

"W-wow...that...wasn't half bad..."

She slips herself off of you, trembling the whole time as she lays flat on your chest.

A dreamy look on her face, the most satisfied you've ever seen her.

Incredible what a good fuck does for one's mood.

Finally, the gag is removed.

"Well? Ready for your turn?"

Your stillness throws her off.

Your expression, resigned.

Smugness shifts to realization.

The warmth filling her belly wasn't just her orgasm.

The thick fluid seeping from her wasn't only her nectars.

Flat, direct words.

A disarming smile.

It was your only hope.

"I ca-"

*SLASH*

Hours later...

A very groggy, bedhead-riddled deer half-consciously stumbles into the kitchen.

The morning silence abruptly breaks from the sounds of wood on tile as she fumbles with a step stool, dragging it in front of the sink for a glass of water.

Anything to help with the throbbing remnants of last night.

Ooooh...why did eggnog have to be so tasty?

The cool liquid reaches her lips...

[IT IS CURRENTLY 1100 HOURS. YOU ARE 240 MINUTES LATE FOR PRIMARY MEAL.]

The stool nearly shoots out from under Bump's feet as she sputters and jumps in shock.

The deer whirls around, panicking as she finds her accuser, an old-model Swatbot, sitting rigidly straight in his seat at the dining table.

[FURTHER TARDINESS WILL NOT BE TOLERATED.]

The one person/thing that she didn't want to see so early.

The self-proclamed "law".

The fun police.

And also your janitor.

"G-good morning to you too, Swatty. When did you get back?"

Even with no eyes, the unblinking glow of the robot's visor conveyed judgement just fine.

[THIS UNIT RETURNED AT 0600 HOURS AS PER PROTOCOL. AN EMERGENCY PREVENTED THIS UNIT FROM INITIATING PROPER USER WAKEUP PROCEDURES.]

"An emer-*growwwlrrr*"

Bump claps a hand over her rumbling stomach in embarrassment. Swatty lifted a hand with mechanical swiftness and precision, motioning to a plate on the counter.

[USER BUMP HAS NOT YET CONSUMED PRIMARY MEAL. PREPARED SUSTENANCE HAS ALREADY BEEN PROVIDED. PROCEED WITH NUTRITIONAL INTAKE.]

Wandering over to the dish, Bump wondered just how much else she'd missed in her drowsy stupor.

Lifting the cover, the aroma of lukewarm dough and cheese filled her nose.

"Really, Swatty? Hotp-"

The automaton's steel helmet whizzed to face Bump, its singular optic blazing with cinnabar light. [COMPLAINTS REGARDING MODERATION PERFORMANCE ARE A SERIOUS VIOLATION AND WILL BE SEVERELY PUNISHED. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.]

Sighing, Bump loaded a few of the pastries onto a napkin and popped them in the microwave before turning back to the incensed Swatbot. "Alright, alright! You were saying something about an emergency?"

[THIRTY MINUTES FOLLOWING THE RETURN OF THIS UNIT, USER ANON SUSTAINED LACERATIONS TO HIS FACE THAT REQUIRED IMMEDIATE TREATMENT.]

"WHAT?! What happened to Anon?! Swatty, is he okay?!"

[USER ANON DID NOT SUFFER CRITICAL WOUNDS. HE HAS BEEN TAKEN TO TRIAGE AND REHABILITATION FOR AUTISTS, SOCIOPATHS, AND HERETICS. RECOVERY IS ESTIMATED TO REQUIRE THREE DAYS.]

Bump shuddered. To be sent there...

She hoped Anon would be okay.

Maybe they could celebrate when he got back?

Bump thoughtfully ate her half-stale breakfast, working out how to get Sage to help plan a welcome home party for Anon.

You are Anon.

You don't remember much.

You know Swatty found you.

Blaring on about infractions and consequences.

He brought you here, had you seen to, and said you'd be released in three days.

The bandages on your face made it hard to look around.

But at least you still had your junk.

And you were clear of any revenge-crazed sloths for now.

Best settle in and try to get comfortable.

You hear murmured laughter from the bed to your right.

"haha i hate myself"

The bed on your left explodes.

"FIRST TWENTYFOUR GOGOGOOOOO!"

Christ.

This was gonna be a long vacation.


End file.
